A MANS' KITCHEN

The person who will invent a machine for us
men which we can throw food ingredients
into and get a delicious hot meal after some
few minutes of buzzing and flashing will
definitely become a billionaire. Cooking is a
headache for men. And don't even mention
cleaning. So when it comes to the kitchen,
most men use simple guidelines to make life
in the kitchen easy.
1) Only clean the utensils you REALLY need to
use at that particular time. What's the use of
cleaning all utensils only for them to get dirty
all over again.
2) Pots that cooked tea are reusable
provided you are cooking more tea. Plates
that were used with dry foods like bread are
considered clean and reusable.
3) Dirty cooking pots are best washed after
soaking them for a couple of days. That is
enough time for all the germs to drown. Pots
that made ugali are best left for the
girlfriend/other visiting female unless she
doesn't appear for two weeks.
4) The frying pan is ever clean. Germs know
better than mess with a frying pan.
5) Knives never get germs. Germs know
better than to play with knives
6) Fried eggs and tomatoes are an acceptable
stew for anything; including fried eggs and
tomatoes.
7) The kitchen cloth will eventually get
stained. Its better to stain it comprehensively
the first time you use it and avoid waiting for
the stains to gather.
8) Dead bugs should not be removed from
the kitchen floor until all their relatives pay
their last respects.
9) Visitors will get two choices of food in the
kitchen. (1) Take it (2) Leave it
10) The fridge should only be washed if you
accidentally spill beer inside. The cleaning
should be restricted to the area of the spill.
11) A microwave is a demi-god. It can cook
anything except eggs. But we keep trying
with more eggs and hope to get a
breakthrough one day.
12) Ladies are magicians in the kitchen. So
when they start doing their acts in the
kitchen, sit down and watch in amazement.
Cheer occasionally. Only offer to help during
the eating phase.