ENJOY YOUR GAME..ANNOY EVERYONE ELSE

The football season is well underway.The following are guidelines for
watching football and annoying everyone else
in the process. It is your right. And no, don't
be told

1) The referee can hear you. Keep yelling.
Yell louder if he makes a bad call. There
have been reports of special transmitters by
the world famous IDGAF company given to
referees to hear all complaints and take
them to account.

2) If a player wastes a golden chance, take
out your frustration on furniture. Bang tables
and kick chairs. There is a special vibration
that transmits that as pain to the player in
question and causes him serious constipation.
And herpes if you punch your nuts.

3) Sulk when you lose. The world will
definitely stop and mourn with you simply
because your team lost a GAME.

4) Kicking an imaginary ball sometimes helps
the real ball go in the direction you want.
You are - undoubtedly- far much better than
the player who is paid the equivalent of your
five year earnings in a week to play.

5) Standing up helps the striker score. Do it
more often.

6) The commentator needs your help. I'm
serious.

7) Celebrate a goal more wildly than the one
who scored it. You know, the one getting
paid for it.

8) Provide detailed expertise at half time on
how to improve in the next half. A wind will
blow that information to the dressing room
and the manager will obviously pass that on
to the players.

9) Yell at players some more.

10) Shout orders to the players. Tell them
who to pass the ball to. They are usually
given micro speakers to listen to your advice.

11) Lastly, drink A LOT when your team loses.
The team will reimburse you at the end of
the season with an apology note for the
money spent, hangovers and time lost.